Tuesday, 25 May 2010

Carla Zilbersmith, thank you.

Below is a small part of the final blog posting of Carla Zilbersmith. I urge you to read it, and more of her blog.

You will probably end up in tears, and you may laugh out loud, and you'll learn a lot - I did all of those. Carla died 18 May, from ALS. Thanks to Charles Cowling for signposting her blog for me.

"In my conversations with Mac, my dad, and others, I’ve realized that there’s actually nothing for me to be upset about. Everything I fear and dread is going to happen in the future and it’s not happening now. Therefore, I’m doing what I call “pre-emptive worrying.” The reality is when all of the things that I dread come to pass, I won’t exist but my other loved ones will have to deal with their grief, loss, etc. I won’t be conscious and I will be blissfully ignorant of the wreckage left behind. So I could spend time worrying about things that aren’t happening right now, or I can enjoy and love the people in my world and accept that no one (not even me) is indispensable. Those I love can grieve without my help. I think that’s my thought of the week: suffering is dramatically reduced when one opts out of indulging in preemptive worry or grief."

If you are of a genteel frame of mind, be warned that Carla's language can be pretty ripe. If I were dying of a foul wasting disease, I expect my language would be pretty ripe too, and nowhere near as lucid and rewarding.

Carla Zilbersmith - beyond praise.


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