Bit of a sermon, this - well, it is Sunday, and old habits die hard, even for an ageing hippy humanist.
Thanks to Comfort Blanket for setting me on this road - run your cursor over my title above to link to her blogpost on the subject.
When I first heard about Action for Happiness, I was intrigued,with one reservation (on to that in a mo.)Now I learn about Random Acts of Kindness, also with one reservation from me, which is rapidly evaporating.
At first I thought "what's the world coming to, that we need an organisation to promote kindness? It should be spontaneous." Then I remembered a very good idea from some years ago, called I think "Play It Forward." If you received a kindly, helpful act from a stranger, you waited till the right moment, and did something kindly for a stranger yourself. Lapel badges were made. It din't really take off. It was too unspontaneous and yet it was unplanned and situational, it involved waiting for something good to happen to oneself. RAK is much simpler and more direct, more planned and structured and yet more open to spontaneity.
It would be good to think kindness could be catching. I wish I was sure about that...but we should do these things as a matter of principle (it's better to behave better) and because, dammit, it feels good, as CB observes.
In Hong Kong, people will often give up their seat on the metro for an older person. Uhuh. Remember that? Pretty rare nowadays on the Tube, I think. We've just got out of the kindly habit. Maybe RAK on the Tube could spread...after all, Hong Kong is every bit as busy and high-pressure as London. RAK could generate habitual social responses, over time. (Of course, part of it in HK would relate back to modern relics of Confucian attitudes towards the elderly)
My reservation about Action for Happiness is perhaps a bit theoretical: I think the aim should be contentment. That's the base line for happiness, which seems to me truly to be a more spontaneous, inspirational thing. Want to make someone doubt their happiness? Just ask them how happy they are. If they waver, and start comparisons and measurements, they're done for, they're headed for discontent. Having said that, the content of AfH is very helpful.
Mindfulness teaches us to aim for balance and contentment. Happiness will then occur more often. And a mindful person is also likely to find it increasingly easy to feel compassion and understanding rather than the envy, anger etc.that so often comes from judging and comparing.
But maybe it's chicken and egg. Perhaps RAK can also open the door to a mindful approach to life, because self-interest is put on the back-burner for a while, and those evolutionary bits of us that say "me, me" are stilled for a while, whilst we do something kind just for the sake of it.
OK, we all have to criticise, judge, and plan sometimes. You don't want to miss the train, or fail the exam. For the other times, mindfulness will generate calm will generate contentment will generate balance; RAK may lead to serious outbursts of...happiness.
Picture of a happy person for you.
Showing posts with label kindness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kindness. Show all posts
Sunday, 8 May 2011
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
